For the Life or the Hunt
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: On the way to Bobby's Dean and Sam get a hunt. The hunt takes its toll on Sam. Can Dean save him before it's too late? Or is this the last hunt? Sequel to 'On the Open Road'.
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing. Sequel to 'On the Open Road'. Enjoy!

* * *

"We're almost there right Dean?" Sam said looking over at me.

"Yeah Sammy," I said smiling softly, "We'll be there soon."

"Okay," he said yawning.

"Go to sleep," I said calmly.

I watched Sam as he fell asleep. My eyes had been trained on Sam ever since I found out he wanted to kill himself. I knew that he said he didn't do things like that anymore.

I wanted to believe that he would never do something like that again, but I couldn't. With this job we never really took a break and just calmed down from the hunts we went on.

I had to give us more time between hunts. Sam needed some sort of stability, he always had needed that stability. Now it was my responsibility to get that stability to Sam's life.

When we got to Bobby's house I needed to talk to Sam and see if he wanted to have a place to go to when we took time away from hunting. That should help Sam and me a lot.

Hunting had been a hug part of my life for years and it was something that I always thought I would do. I thought I would die while I was on a hunt, but I was getting tired.

I would never let myself not hunt, at least not yet, but having a little down time once in awhile would be a good thing. A place to stay that I didn't have to pay for every time would be a nice thing.

Now, I just had to see if that's something that Sam could ever want. I had to do something to make sure that Sam would never think of hurting himself again. I couldn't ignore this whole thing.

Going to Bobby's house was a good idea. It just gave us a little time to breath and think. I just didn't know how long we were going to stay there, but I couldn't think anymore when my cell phone rang.

"Hey Bobby," I said looking at Sam, "What do you need?"

"I got a case for you," Bobby said calmly.

"Bobby," I said sighing.

"What is it?" he asked confused.

"Sam and I were on our way to your house," I said running a hand through my hair.

"Sorry Dean," he said firmly, "But this case needs to be gone."

"Alright," I said moving to shake Sam, "Sam, get up. Bobby got us a case."

"Dean," Sam said waking up slowly.

"Come on Sammy," I said putting the phone on speaker, "Bobby tell us about the hunt."

"Okay," Bobby said clearing his throat, "In this town a bunch of people are dying. All the signs are there, but I can't find out what is killing all of these people. So far over fifteen people have died."

"Do we have a time period?" Sam asked yawning.

"All of the deaths have happened within the past three weeks," Bobby said slowly.

"Basically a death a day," I said shaking my head, "Have you talked to anyone?"

"No," Bobby said softly.

"Are the deaths linked at all?" Sam asked giving me a confused look.

"No," Bobby said instantly, "Just go check it out. I know something is there. Now you guys need to figure out what."

"Okay," Sam said smiling sadly at me.

"Talk to you later Bobby," I said hang up, "Sorry Sammy."

"It's fine Dean," he said looking out the window, "How long will it be until we get to the town?"

"An hour," I said turning the radio up slightly.

"Okay," he said nodding.

I let out another sigh and drove faster. I wanted to get this over with. I had a plan that I thought would be great, and now I had to do this hunt. I knew that there was no way for me to get away from the hunt, but I wished we could have just taken a break.

I never blamed Dad for dragging us into this fight. It was that damn demons fault. But I had to agree with Sam that he didn't do everything he could do to help us. He didn't give Sam what he needed.

Dad always was there for me no matter what. I never questioned him, at least not out loud. Anyway, if I kept Dad happy then I could keep Sammy happy. Sam being happy and safe was all that mattered.

I failed. Sam wrote a note to me explaining why he killed himself. If he was happy and safe than he would never had written something like that. I had failed Sam and I hated that.

I might have failed Sam then, but I had time to make it up. I was going to make it up to him. It was almost too late for me to make it up to Sam, but I hoped that I could still make it up to him.

I was never one to do emotions, but Sam was. Sam was always wanting to talk about feelings. I usually pushed him away. That wasn't good for him. He needed someone who was there for him.

Jess was there for him. She was there for him in ways that I couldn't. Now she was gone and I was the only person that was there for Sam. I just needed to figure out how.

Sam knew how much I hated talking about feeling. This was going to be difficult for me. And the first thing I had to do was get this hunt over with. Once the hunt was over I could figure things out.

This hunt was the one thing that was messing things up with us. We had to figure this hunt out quickly. Then we could go to Bobby's house and figure everything that we needed out.

"Sam," I said pulling into the town, "It's too late to do anything. Let's get something to eat."

"Alright," Sam said nodding his head.

"Sammy," I said sighing, "I had an idea."

"That's never good," he said laughing.

"I know," I said smiling.

"So, what was your idea?" he said ordering his food.

"Maybe we should take a break," I said crossing my arms.


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing. Enjoy!

* * *

"Come on Sammy," Dean said pulling me to the Impala, "Let's get a motel room and chill for the rest of the night."

"Okay," I said letting Dean baby me.

Ever since Dean found that note I wrote he's been acting weird. I knew that he was worried about me, but I told him I don't have anymore thoughts about killing myself anymore.

Well, that's not completely true. I still think about killing myself, but that's only when I'm super stressed, like during a hunt. I couldn't tell Dean that though. He already gave up so much to take care of me.

Dean didn't get to do so much when he was younger, and that was because of me. I never once heard Dean complain about how hard it was taking care of me. It seemed like he really liked it.

For all the years I've known Dean he has taken care of me. He didn't know that I saw him watching me when I was at Stanford. I saw him every time, and I had to fight myself to not go say something to him.

Then Jess came. When Jess and I started to get serious I saw less and less of Dean. I felt like I had completely lost him by then. I had Jess, but I still needed my big brother to help me.

Jess found out about me hurting myself a few months into the relationship. She saw the scars that were still fading on my wrist. We talked about it for hours and I had left so much out of the conversation.

Now Dean knew though, and Dean wasn't going to let me leave things out. He knew me a lot better then Jess. I loved Jess so much, but she never really knew a lot about me.

She never knew all the little things that no matter how long we were away or how many fights we got in Dean knew my heart. It hurt when I had to leave Dean to go to school, but I had to do it.

A few things had never changed though. Dean was still a kick-ass big brother that protected me. Yeah, half the time I didn't need it, but it was still good to have someone like that.

Dean would never admit that he was acting like a mother hen, but we both knew it was true. Dean was not only my brother, but my mom and my dad all at the same time. And I didn't want that to change.

I might not have told Dean all of these things, but I knew that he still knew. Dean never did do good with emotions. He was a little better at it with me than when he was with Dad.

Dad had a way to make Dean feel like he was a child again. Dean saw our Dad like he was the best thing in the world. I knew what he felt. I thought the same thing about Dean.

No matter what Dean was there for me. I never wanted to lose that, but I knew that it came at a cost. I knew that I would hurt him at some point in time, and that time is now.

He might not want to say, but he was worried about me. I could feel his eyes trained on me as I tried to sleep. I couldn't really fall asleep knowing I'd hurt Dean like I did.

Then we got the new hunt. I was looking forward to going to Bobby's and resting, but it seemed Bobby had other plans. Dean looked like he was torn between saying yes and no so I answered for him.

We drove to the town in relative quiet. The only noise was the engine and music. Dean had even kept his music down the whole time. It was starting to worry me that I had hurt him more then I thought.

Dean pulled into a diner and started to talk to me. He said that he had an idea. I was nervous about the idea, but knew that I had to hear him out first. When he said we should take a break I was shocked.

Hunting was something Dean had done his whole life. Dying in the hunt was the only thing that matched when anyone thought of Dean dying. Now he's saying he wants to take a break.

I listened as he explained that we should have a place that we could call our own and go when we needed time off. I loved the idea of having a house. I always wanted to live in a house.

Dean wasn't that type of person though. He liked traveling on the road in the Impala. He was doing all of this for me and somehow that made me happy. I was happy that he wanted to take care of me.

I wanted the big brother I used to have back and now it seemed like I got him. I got the man that used to call me a nerd, but yell at anyone else who did. The over protectiveness was nice.

I had missed my brother a lot when I left. And when I came back it was like things had changed too much. Dean was there for me, but not in the way he used to be. He was more distance.

That letter had brought him closer and forced him to act how he used to. That letter might not have been a good thing, but it was bringing some good parts that I could handle.

Now that I had my brother back I just had to wait. Dean would try to talk about what happened when I wrote that note. That was going to be one awkward conversation I wasn't looking forward to.

That conversation wasn't going to just disappear though. We needed to have that talk no matter what. Dean needed to know what happened a hell of a lot more then he thought.

I wanted Dean to know everything that I had felt when I wrote that letter. Yeah, I said that it was because I thought it was best for Dean if I was gone, but that wasn't the only thing.

The thing that made me write that not and stuff it in that pocket wasn't because I wanted to help Dean. It was something totally different. Something that Dean and Jess never knew.

Since Dean knew about the letter now I could tell him. I could tell Dean about everything that had happened. But not until he started the conversation with me about the letter.

"Night Dean," I said shutting the lights off.

"Sweet dreams," Dean muttered under his breath.


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing. Enjoy!

* * *

"Dean," Sam said in his sleep again.

"Damn it," I said throwing the blanket off.

Sam had been saying my name in his sleep for the past two hours. And for those past two hours I've been wishing I was asleep. So many thoughts were rushing through my head that I couldn't.

Getting out of bed I went over to Sam's bag and pulled out the laptop. I was never really good with electronics, but Sam was asleep and we had a case. Since I was awake I might as well work on it.

I pulled up the news paper and looked through all the deaths. It was going to take awhile, but I had to find a connection. There had to be some sort of connection somewhere.

As I went through the paper for the past five years I noticed something weird. A few of the death's had to do with people that had gotten over something that they had fought with.

One man was a cook that had fried up his own hand. Another one was a woman who worked as a cop handcuffed herself and couldn't get them off. She died of starvation four days later.

Bobby was right. None of the deaths were related. Talking to the people would be the best way. I continued to serf the web until I found a blog written by Tony Helado. He was the four victim.

Tony was the owner of a local book store. He died after two shelves of books fell on top of him. In his blog he explained that he had always wanted to know what it would be like to die that way.

Looking up another name I found Vivienne Nooks also had a blog. Vivienne was an accountant, but spent most of her time swimming. Her biggest goal was to hold her breath underwater for the longest ever. She died from drowning.

These were sort of suppressed things. That's what this son of a bitch was going after. Suppressed wants. Now to kill this thing. Well, first we had to find it. I had to keep a close eye on Sam during this case.

Getting dressed quickly I grabbed the keys to the Impala and left. I didn't want to leave Sam, but there was another thing they had in common. They all died in the same two block radius.

Whatever was going after these people was in this area and I needed to find out what it was at least. It was around two o'clock so I doubted Sam was going to wake up and find me gone.

I wasn't going to go after this thing by myself, but I was going to find out what we were dealing with. It was weird to be the one asking questions instead of going in there and shooting.

When I got to the area I looked around. The place was quiet, but it had a bad feeling to it. Something was wrong with this neighborhood. Sighing I took out a flashlight and looked around.

Everything looked normal, but I knew that normal didn't mean safe a long time ago. In the dark I didn't think I would find anything, but then I tripped over some rocks in a field.

I turned around and saw that the rocks were made into a symbol. Confused I took a picture and told myself I would ask Sam when I got back. I wasn't really good at the ancient symbols.

A twig behind me snapped. I wiped around and saw nothing. Shining the flashlight all around me I waited to see if I could see anything that could have made that noise.

When I found nothing I started to go back to the Impala. Then I felt something behind me. Turning around slowly I tried to get a look at whatever was there, but I was hit.

My whole body flew until I landed next to the Impala. I wanted to stay and fight, but I had no clue how to kill this thing. Getting into the Impala I sped all the way back to the motel room.

Once I was in the room I noticed blood dripping onto my jacket. Going into the bathroom I saw that there was a gash on my right cheek. Sighing I got a towel and pressed it to the cut.

"Dean," Sam said walking to the bathroom, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing Sammy," I said calmly.

"You're dressed," he said motioning to my clothes.

"I went out," I said shrugging.

"Okay," he said nodding, "Wait, you're bleeding."

"Yeah," I said pulling the towel away.

"What were you doing?" he asked moving closer to me.

"Looking for whatever killed these people," I said sighing.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" he asked confused.

"Because you were asleep and I wasn't," I said sitting down on my bed, "Thought I'd be productive."

"Dean." he said sadly.

"Come on Sammy," I said smirking, "I found a symbol for you to get your geek on with."

"Okay," he said shaking his head, "Just go to sleep Dean."

"Yeah," I said rolling my eyes, "Whatever."

"Night," he said before falling asleep.

Sighing I mentally slapped myself for waking Sam up. I didn't want Sam to know that I was out looking for this thing in the middle of the night. He had enough to think about.

That letter probably dragged up some things that he had tried to hide for awhile now. I didn't need him to be worrying about me when I was perfectly fine to take care of myself.

I shut my eyes and tried to think. That thing had hit me which hopefully meant I had gotten a look at it. If I was able to figure out what it was then I could kill it and get out of here.

The only problem was I couldn't remember a damn thing about it. The thing moved so quickly that I had seen nothing. I had the perfect opportunity to figure what was behind these deaths and I missed it completely.

"Good job," I said to myself before going to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I own nothing. Enjoy!

* * *

"Sam," Dean said throwing something at my head, "Come on I'm hungry."

"Sleeping," I said rolling over.

"Come on Sam," he said standing over my bed, "The faster we get this done the faster we go to Bobby's."

"Fine," I said getting out of bed.

Dean was now standing by the sink and smirking at me. I glared slightly and went into the bathroom. When I got in there I saw a bloody towel. I didn't dream that Dean got hurt last night.

"Dean," I said grabbing the towel and walking to him, "What the hell dude?"

"What?" Dean asked confused.

"You went after that thing by yourself?" I asked getting mad.

"No," he said calmly, "I just went to stake out the place.

"The thing hit you," I said trying not to yell.

"I'm fine Sammy," he said smiling, "Now come on. Let's go get some food."

"Fine," I said throwing some clothes on.

Dean got the car keys and threw them to me. I was confused at first but then I saw his face. His whole face was tight and stressed. It looked like he hadn't slept at all last night.

I know we went to bed at eleven and I know at three is when I had found Dean in the bathroom nursing that gash on his cheek. Night now it was seven and it looked like Dean had been up for hours.

I didn't know if that letter was what was causing all of this, but if it was we needed to figure it out fast. It wasn't fun to be around Dean when he hadn't gotten enough sleep.

When we got to the diner Dean got out quickly and went inside. I took my time and looked around the town. There wasn't that many people, which could be good or bad in this case.

Letting out a sigh I started to feel a familiar tightening in my chest. My breathing quickened and I reached to place a hand on the knife I kept in my back pocket. I felt the urge to hurt myself instantly.

The urge itself was never truly gone, but I was able to suppress it quite well. I didn't want to hurt myself anymore because I knew that it wouldn't just affect me anymore.

Taking a deep breath I tried to push the thoughts away, but they were as strong as when I first started this. That was the last time I had ever felt like this. I had no clue what I was going to do.

I couldn't tell Dean what I was feeling. He would freak out and question everything. I needed to figure this out on my own. Even if I did want my brother to help me.

I had started this mess myself and I knew that I could stop it if I just took a few moments to think about it. I couldn't let this rule me again. Not now that Dean knew everything.

Shaking my head I went into the diner and sat across from Dean. My breath was still a little erratic, but I hoped that Dean didn't pick up on it. I should have known that was too much to ask for.

"What's wrong Sammy?" Dean asked when the waitress left.

"Nothing," I said taking a few deep breaths.

"You sure?" he asked eyeing me.

"Yeah," I said nodding, "Just need to breathe."

"Okay," he said shrugging, "You know you can tell me if you need help right?"

"Yeah," I said smiling, "I know."

And I really did know. I knew that Dean would do anything in his power to make me stop feeling the things I was feeling right now, but that's not how these thing work with me.

I just needed to calm down and clear my mind. The hunt should take my mind off of this. At least for awhile. Maybe that while was going to make all the difference in the world.

Dean told me all about the hunt that he had found out. I tried to listen to him, but the pain in my chest was getting stronger. I needed to do something to get rid of this feeling.

Telling Dean was out of the question and the only thing that I could think of doing was hurting myself. No, I couldn't do that. I had to fight whatever was making me feel this.

The only problem was I couldn't figure that part out. I had no clue why I was feeling anything that I was. The thoughts that ran through my mind were ones I had gotten rid of.

Or at least I thought I had gotten rid of them. I thought this part of it was over completely and I liked that. I never wanted to feel anything like this ever again. And yet here I was.

I was fighting myself to not run out of the diner and kill myself. What was going on with me? These feelings were getting to hard to bare, but I couldn't do anything to make them stop.

"Sam," Dean said hitting my arm, "Are you even listening to me?"

"Not really," I said honestly.

"Damn it Sammy this is important," he said sighing, "What are you even thinking about?"

"Nothing," I lied quickly.

"Come on," he said cocking an eyebrow, "You know that's a lie."

"Yeah," I said nodding, "But it's better than the truth."

"Tell me Sammy," he said firmly.

"It's just," I said sighing, "I want to do something."

"What do you want to do?" he asked confused.

"Umm…" I said motioning to the knife, "That."

"Oh," he said his eyes wide.

"Yeah," I said crossing my arms.

"Don't worry Sammy," he said pushing the knife away, "We'll figure this out."

"Yeah," I said rolling my eyes, "After the hunt."

"No," he said smirking, "During the hunt. Come on. We need to get to the motel figure this symbol out and get you okay. Let's go."


	5. Chapter 5

I own nothing. Enjoy!

* * *

"It's a symbol of wanting Dean," Sam said rolling his eyes.

"Okay," I said nodding, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that whatever is killing people is using their wants," he said sighing, "Even if they don't know what they are."

"Damn it," I said running a hand through my hair, "I hoped I was wrong."

"You knew," he asked glaring at me.

"I suspected," I said shrugging, "I just wasn't sure yet."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he said angrily.

"Because I didn't want to say it and be wrong," I said sitting down on a bed.

"Dean," he said crossing his arm.

"Look Sammy," I said standing up, "I was reading some things that some of the victims put online and I found the connection. I wanted to make sure first. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Yeah," he said rolling his eyes.

"Sam," I said grabbing his arms.

"Dean," he said pushing me away, "Stop treating me like a baby. I know finding out about me hurting myself was surprising, but I'm over that Dean."

"You just told me you wanted to hurt yourself," I said throwing my hands up, "If you're over it where did that come from?"

"I don't think about it when I calm," he said shrugging, "Just during hunts."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked shaking my head, "I want to help you any way I can, but I can't help if you don't tell me."

"What am I supposed to tell you Dean?" he asked going to the table, "That I want to hurt myself, that I'm not good enough to be alive, or that you'll be better off without me? What do you want me to say?"

"The truth," I said forcing him to look at me, "Yeah, it's going to suck talking to me about it, but I'm not going to let this happen. I don't want to find another one of these notes."

"How can you believe I would do that again?" he said pulling away and opening the door, "You don't know me that well if you think I'd leave you again."

"Sammy," I said after he slammed the door shut, "Damn it."

I didn't want Sam to run away, but I needed to watch over him. Maybe I was going a little overboard with him though. Sighing I decided that I would go after Sam in a few minutes to let him cool off.

Over the past few years I had done a lot of things with Sam Some of those things I wasn't really proud of. I always took care of him and protected him, but I had been annoyed by Sam for years.

I loved Sam, though it would be a cold day in hell when I said that out loud. Something needed to be done. What was I supposed to do though when he didn't want the help?

Standing up I ran out of the room and looked around for Sam. He couldn't have gotten every far, right? I was only in there for five minutes. Damn it, why did I let him run out?

I really need to find him. Something is going on in this town that could hurt him. I couldn't lose Sam because of something as stupid as this. It was just a small fight that I needed to fix.

Everything was supposed to be going good. I messed them up pretty badly for this to happen. For Sam to run away from me like I was the worst person in the world that hurt him.

He must have run pretty fast. I had been looking for Sam for ten minutes by now. There was no chance that he had walked this far away and I didn't find him. He must have ran.

Now what was I supposed to do? My brother had ran away from me literally and there was nothing I could do about it. Well there was nothing I could do right now. I had to find him.

Damn, this whole situation was making me messed up. There were a few things in this life that I never did. One was mess with feelings that could hurt my family. Scratch that, I hated feelings all together.

I don't know where it came from, but me and feelings never mixed well. It was completely messed up whenever it did happen. I guess I messed up completely this time once again.

Sammy was out there somewhere and I had to find him. I am a completely idiot for making me do something like this to my brother. Man, I was supposed to protect Sammy.

Okay, find Sam now figure things out later. As long as Sam was safe I knew things were going to fine. Once Sam and I had a real talk then I should be able to make things better.

When Sam found out my plan I was sure that he was going to be happy. It was exactly what he had always wanted. I just had to make sure that I said it in a way that made him feel okay.

I knew that if I did this wrong then he would be angry at me again. I just wanted to make things better for the two of us. And if Sam was happy then I was going to be happy. It was up to me.

Sam was my little brother. I had to make sure that he was okay. Then everything would be okay and I wouldn't have to think about it that much. Wow, I just realized that it sounded like I was his father.

In a way I guess I was. So, I'm going to start acting like I was. I loved Sam, and if that meant treating him like my son then that's what I was going to have to do to make things okay.

Sam was acting like a spoiled little brat for the most part. I get that I was being overprotective and that was making him mad, but he didn't need to be acting like this right now.

Going around the whole town I realized that it was going to be a little harder then I thought. With a sigh I walked back to the motel and went inside. Once inside I changed quickly and sat on the bed.

I wanted to go to sleep, but I knew I couldn't until Sam was back here and safe. When Sam was gone I had a hard time sleeping for the most part. Sam was never safe unless I was watching him.

"Damn it," I said running a hand through my hair, "Where are you Sammy?"


	6. Chapter 6

I own nothing. Enjoy!

* * *

"Damn Sam," I said to myself.

I fucked up once again. Dean would never forgive me for what I just did, but I felt so suffocated. I just needed a little time to myself. Maybe now wasn't such a good time. We were hunting.

Leaving in the middle of a hunt was never a good thing. We're supposed to know better than this. I'm supposed to know better. Then again I never really listened to the rules anyway.

Dean was treating me like a baby and it was starting to bother me. I should have handled it in a different way. I doubted he would ever want to talk to me after what I had done.

I had no place to go. I was right all those years ago. I didn't belong in this world. I should be dead. Things would be a lot better if I would just kill myself. Dean would be a lot better.

I just wanted Dean to be happy. Dean was everything to me. He was my best friend, my big brother, and my dad. I know Dean didn't think he meant that much to me, but he did.

For years I had trusted Dean with my life, then I left. I know that the trust was broken and it was going to be hard to get back, but I needed that trust so much. And I almost had it.

Then that stupid note came into play. Now we're back to square one. Dean being worried about me and me not knowing what the hell I was going to do. So I left my brother once more.

Yeah, I'm really good at leaving my family when they need me or when I need them. Hell, I leave them even when things are good. I blamed my dad the first time for me leaving.

That was a lie though. I left because I thought things would be better for them. I wasn't a hunter. I hated the hunting life. They would be better off if I wasn't part of the equation.

Now here I was, on a hunt, wandering around the town where people are being killed without back up. God, why do I have to be such a stupid person all the freaking time?

I needed Dean more then I ever thought. These thoughts were back. I had worked so hard to get them locked up. Why were they coming around now? And why did I notice everything that was sharp around me?

The objects were calling out to me. Just like they did years ago. I know I could find a nice sharp object as I walked, but I didn't want to do things like that anymore, did I?

No, I didn't. Okay, yeah I did, but I just need to calm down and breathe a little. Dean, I need to get to Dean. He can figure out this and make these thoughts go away. I hope.

I turned back the way I came and started to run. I ran as fast as I could, but the thoughts kept coming. I wasn't fast enough. Wasn't strong enough to stop them from coming.

Falling to the ground I took the knife from my pocket and pressed it to my right wrist. I didn't care that I was cutting through my clothing. I just needed that release right now.

I shouldn't be doing this. I had stopped. Things might have totally sucked, but I had stopped. Years. I hadn't done this in years. Yet here I was. Throwing everything I worked for out.

My cuts got deeper and more erratic. Then I saw them. A set of emerald green eyes staring at me through the shadows. My heart started to race even faster and I tried to stand up.

I had already lost a lot of blood so instead of running I started to stagger away. I thought that the thing was going to attack, but they never did. I got to the motel room in one piece.

Now I had to face Dean. I looked down at my wrist and noticed blood dripping heavily from it. I had messed up so badly this time. Dean wouldn't want to see me in this state.

I turned to leave only to hear the door open. I knew Dean was standing behind me, but I couldn't turn around. Dean must have noticed because he forced me to. I saw his mouth open to speak, but he froze.

Dean's eyes were locked onto my wrist and I knew he had noticed what I did. Suddenly arms wrapped me into a hug and I clasped into his arms. Tears streamed down my face, but I didn't speak.

Leading us into the room Dean sat me on the bed. I stayed there as Dean got everything together. Then I noticed it. A gun. Dean had been cleaning his favorite gun when I got here.

That gun was a very effective gun. Dean always kept it clean so it wouldn't jam. He also kept it fully loaded. I could end it. Right now I could end it. I could make everything better.

When Dean was turned away from me I grabbed the gun and took the safety off. Dean heard the click and whipped around. His eyes were wide as I cocked the gun and put it to my head.

Before I could pull the trigger Dean grabbed my arm. We started to fight over the gun and I was getting desperate. The little voice in my head knew that I needed this. I needed to do this.

Dean was stopping me from ending it all. He was only a little bit stronger then me. At least in normal circumstances. The blood loss had made me a lot weaker then normal.

Dean easily got the gun out of my hand and hugged me tightly. I don't know when he let go but I knew that I was close to being unconscious. I could hear the gun being unloaded though.

When that was done I felt heat. Dean was standing over me. I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't. Dean touched my forehead softly before taking my clothes off. I was only left in boxers.

Then he started to clean the cuts and bandage them. Something was wrong with Dean. He wasn't joking or making any noise at all. I managed to get my eyes open and look at him. Tear were in his eyes.

"Sorry De," I said before falling asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

I own nothing. Sorry about the delay in updating. I really couldn't think of what to write. This is the last chapter and I don't think it's one of my bests, but it seems to work. I hope you enjoy!

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"Sam," I said when he passed out.

I shouldn't have let him go. There was a demon out there feeding off of people using their deepest desires and I knew that Sam wanted to kill himself. I needed to kill this son of a bitch before he got to my baby brother.

Standing up I went to the laptop and started to type as quickly as I could. Maybe finding out everything I could about this symbol then I could find out who was writing it and I could kill them.

My job was to protect Sam and right now protecting Sam was the only thing I was thinking about. There was nothing else in the whole world that mattered to me as much as Sam.

Dad might have not been right to pound the idea of protecting Sam with my life, but I had the instinct long before he even said anything. What else was I supposed to do about this whole thing?

First I had to figure out who wrote that symbol. Going through all of the news papers in the past few years I noticed another tread. Two years ago there was a man that was almost killed because he was gay.

It was a start doing background on the guy I found out that he had actually studied ancient symbols when he was in college. Also the first few people that were killed actually were the people that almost killed him.

That was all the information I needed. This guy, James Wilson, was the guy that started this and I needed to get him to end it. If Sam was in his right mind then he could tell me what to do.

I had to do this hunt by myself. I never liked hunting by myself. I meant that I wasn't with Sam to protect him. I didn't have much time. I had to quickly find this guy and get back before Sam woke up.

Grabbing my coat I ran out of the motel room and to the guys address. I would have taken the Impala, but I knew that it would have woken Sam up. It was really late at night and all the lights were out, but I didn't care.

I threw the door open and ran inside the house. While I searched through all of the rooms I found no one. Then I saw that there was a basement. Climbing the stairs slowly I saw an alter.

Sighing I grabbed a stick that was on the floor and hit the alter as hard as I could. Things flew everywhere and there was blood caking the walls now. I continued to hit the alter until I was sure no one could use it again.

"What are you doing?" a man said running downstairs.

"Are you James Wilson?" I asked pointing the stick at him.

"Yes," he said glaring, "Now will you tell me why you did that?"

"Because this is dangerous to be dealing with," I said angrily.

"I had it under control," he said smirking, "It only went for people who tried to kill me."

"So my brother tried to kill you?" I asked sneering, "We've never even been here before."

"What?" he asked confused, "That's impossible."

"Then tell me why I just had to wrestle a gun from his hands," I said close to yelling.

"I…That wasn't supposed to happen," he said sadly.

"But it did," I said sighing, "Look I get that you're pissed about this, but hoodoo like this is dangerous. No matter how much you think you can control the truth is that you never can."

"I'm sorry," he said shaking his head, "I didn't mean for this to happen like this."

"I know," I said calming down slightly, "But if you ever do something like this again I will come back and treat you like I'd treat any other monster."

Before James could say anything else I took off running up the stairs. Sam was alone in the house and I didn't know for sure if the spell was over yet. I needed to check up on him.

"I'm coming Sammy," I said running as fast as I could.

When I got to the motel room I saw that Sam was awake. He had his head in his hands and was shaking his head. He must have remembered what he had done before he passed out.

Walking into the room I sat next to him and waited. Sam always needed someone to talk to and I was going to be that person this time. After awhile though I knew I had to start the conversation.

"Let's take a break," I said calmly, "We both could use one."

"You love hunting Dean," Sam said shaking his head.

"I never said for good," I said smiling, "Just for a little while. We'll get a nice house and you can go back to college and I can do whatever. It will be fun."

"Dean," he said shaking his head.

"Why not Sam?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.

"I don't know," he said biting his lip, "Do you really want to do this?"

"Yes," I said laughing, "Now come on. We have to go look for a place to live. Pick any city."

"Houston," he said smiling.

"Texas?" I asked shrugging, "Okay, let's get packing. We have a long drive ahead of us."

"Dean," he said shyly, "Thank you."

"No problem Sammy," I said nodding my head, "Life would be boring without doing things like this. Anyway I always said you'd make a good house wife."

"Shut up Jerk," he said laughing.

"Bitch," I said smirking back.

I didn't think that this was going to be the end of it, but for now I got exactly what I wanted. Sam was safe. There was no reason for him to be threatened. He also knew I'd listen to his problems now.

Sam had felt alone for too much of his life and I had been there for most of it. I couldn't let that happen again. I had to have Sam trust me enough to talk to me again. And it seems like I got my wish.


End file.
